me:	i have a bruise
me:	i'm going to name you Lee
me:
bruise:
me:
bruise:
me:
bruise:
me:	Bruise Lee

What happened on tumblr when Harry punched someone….

The boys in jail:

Louis:	BITCH let me tell you one thing. Guys with faces like yours do not hit on guys with asses like mine. Bitch I will cut you. #2fab4jail I HOPE you are not checking out my $20,000 designer pants with the Dolce&Gabbana jacket, I will personally take your first born child *z formation finger snap*
Harry:	LOUIS BABY I JUST WANT SEX THAT'S ALL I WANT. GET AWAY FROM ME EW IS THAT A VAGINA OHMYGOD LORD SAVE MY SOUL. At least I can tweet "my cheese sandwich was nice". Yeah, that's a pretty good update on my day today. *proceeds to take a black and white instagram picture captioned 'I got no BARS on my phone service. haha geddit .. because.. bars'*
Liam:	I am terrible sorry sir, there must be a misunderstanding, please let us out, let us discuss this in a civil manner. Do you want my flashing toothbrush? You can have it. Oh, and you, sir with the tattoos, do not touch me that way, I don't think I am comforta--I'm sorry was that too mean, wow I need to reevaluate my life, I am ruining people's souls, here's a foot massage to make it up.
Zayn:	Home sweet home. *tweets* "Sometimes life offers you choices of which you have no guidance over, all we can do it close our eyes and enjoy the rush of existence, or it may pass us by. aha :) xx"
Niall:	Was da craiccc hahahah--what is this shit. Where's my caviar with chilled gazpacho or pureed vegetable soup, garnished with basil or a sprig of cilantro and served in individual containers already divided into the correct portions?? Peas with water is not acceptable in horanland.

One Direction after Harry punched someone

Harry:	ruuuuunn
Niall:	but the food!
Louis:	that's my man!
Zayn:	Oh shit yo I got weed on me
Liam:	GUYS STOP RUNNING IF WE TURN OURSELVES IN MAYBE IT'LL BE OKAY, IT'S DARK IM SCARED WHERES MY FLASHING TOOTHBRUSH?!

[Flash 10 is required to watch video]